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So I was really bored at work …

… and started thinking about the individual strategies teams seem to live by. I should be finishing a long over-due post about Mike Richards and Jeff Carter winning the Cup, but I did this instead.


The Anaheim Ducks: When in doubt go watch a Disney film.


The Boston Bruins: When in doubt be crazy.


The Buffalo Sabres: When in doubt spend a lot of money on locker rooms.


The Calgary Flames: When in doubt maybe consider finding a new GM.


The Carolina Hurricanes: When in doubt go find a Staal.


The Chicago BlackhawksWhen in doubt change up your lines.


The Colorado Avalanche: When in doubt put a foot on your jerseys.


The Columbus Blue Jackets: When in doubt demand the sun and moon for your star player.


The Dallas Stars: When in doubt buy a foam sword for the locker room.


The Detroit Red Wings: When in doubt be old and grizzled.


The Edmonton Oilers: When in doubt draft another forward.

The Florida Panthers: When in doubt sign all the unsigned players.


The Los Angeles Kings: When in doubt make Jonathan Quick do all the work.


The Minnesota Wild: When in doubt exist, apparently.


The Montreal Canadiens: When in doubt have an average height of 5 foot 9.


The Nashville Predators: When in doubt remind people that Carrie Underwood likes you best.


The New Jersey Devils: When in doubt go find a player whose last name starts with Z.


The New York Islanders: When in doubt have a never-ending rebuilding process.


The New York Rangers: When in doubt block every shot ever taken.


The Ottawa Senators: When in doubt rely on the coaching skills of Paul McLean’s mustache.


The Philadelphia Flyers: When in doubt find yet another goalie.


The Phoenix Coyotes: When in doubt rely on the goodwill of taxpayers.


The Pittsburgh Penguins: When in doubt ignore irrelevant concepts like ‘defence’. 


The San Jose Sharks: When in doubt choke during the playoffs.


The St. Louis Blues: When in doubt be so unknown to me that I can’t even come up with something to mock you about. 


The Tampa Bay Lightning: When in doubt distract people with Tesla coils.


The Toronto Maple Leafs: When in doubt get one point during overtime.


The Vancouver Canucks: When in doubt fall over for absolutely no reason. 


The Washington Capitals: When in doubt learn from history and have the heroic backup goalie be your own this time.


The Winnipeg Jets: When in doubt find players who don’t like parks.


About Lily L

Hockey fan/Lover of the Pittsburgh Penguins/Nerd


2 thoughts on “So I was really bored at work …

  1. I will forever be sadden that Parise’ name is Zarise.

    Posted by batmaneatsbabie | June 24, 2012, 1:57 am

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